u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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