so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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