For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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