so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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