Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
