some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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