windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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