either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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