Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
