11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
