Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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