***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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