is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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