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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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