Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
