READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
