her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All the doctor said was why
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
