Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
