She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
