You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will be naked everywhere
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
