This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
