Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
