i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she peed on how many people?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
