Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we made out on top of his cat.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
