OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
