I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
