I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
