Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
