I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
