i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So much rum. So many feels.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
