He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
