Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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