there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
