tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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