just tell him i said nine months
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
