love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
