babies were throwing up all over the place
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
