We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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