yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
