Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
