idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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