If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
