I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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