It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
