Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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