When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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