I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
