hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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