I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
