just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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