I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
