since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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